And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
