Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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