there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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