I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
