Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
