I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
