bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
