i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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