Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
