we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
