I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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