Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
