S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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