i would punch a child for taco bell
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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