DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
