Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
