Non-Jews are for practice
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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