The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
