I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
