I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
