i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
