Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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