I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
