I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im holly from the hills drunk
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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