im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i permit you to call me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
