My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
