I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
