I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
