I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
