Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So squirting runs in the family.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
