I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
