Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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