his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
