mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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