that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What a dumb baby whore.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
