I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
