I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
