Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
