That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
