I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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