I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
