Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
