So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's shark week go big or go home
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
