oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
