you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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