no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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