Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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