you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
