Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
