whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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