I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
