Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How's work?
Spinning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
