last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
