..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
