We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
