She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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